Quite a number of our artists are autistic & we work quite closely with the National Autistic Society (NAS) artgroup called Artrack. As Autism is a spectrum it is different for every person, with very different challenges and behaviours. However, I read this really lovely piece of writing by a lady called Lois in the NAS magazine "Spectrum" and it really touched me. My son has Down's Syndrome and whilst he doesn't have a diagnosis of ASD he does sometimes seek out sensory stimulation, chew on his fingers, hum or make unusual noises. Often I try to distract him or deter him from these behaviours as they seem unusual but, after reading this, I think I will leave him alone and allow him to do some of these things without my intervention. Why shouldn't he be allowed to just be himself? I'll let him be. I wonder if this is how some of our artists feel and if art gives them a safe place where they can relax, beyond the watchful eyes of the outside world.
This is, "I want to be allowed to be autistic" by Lois. Issue 93 of the Spectrum Magazine
"I want to stroke soothing textures and oooh and ahhh at the way the light hits flower petals. I want to let my dyspraxia run riot so I can walk like a puppet with its strings cut. I want to wallow in hot baths five times a day. I want to smell every rose, every skimmia bush, every sweet pea.
But if I do all that, neurotypicals will laugh at me and say, “That’s not socially acceptable”.
I want to bury my nose in the long belly fur of my cat. I want to spend hours photographing tiny critters in my wildlife garden. I want no one to talk to me for hours. I want to envelop silence. I want to become the sea. I want to be away from a neurotypical world.
But if I do all that, neurotypicals will laugh at me and say, “That’s not socially acceptable”.
I want to listen to the same piece of music time and time again. I want to watch the same DVD and marvel at the cinematography. I want to stare at the same birds visiting my garden and always have the same child-like fascination when I watch them.
I want to not have to answer questions like “why aren’t you married?” or “why don’t you have children?”. I want to be alone, in peace, all the time.
But if I do all that, neurotypicals will laugh at me and say, “That’s not socially acceptable”.
I want to not follow fashion. I want to have mis-matched shoes and handbag. I want to eat the same foods every day. I want to spend hours marvelling at nature. I want to write in my illegible writing.
But if I do all that, neurotypicals will laugh at me and say, “That’s not socially acceptable”.
I want to spend hours watching the tadpoles in my pond, marvelling at nature’s ability to turn a squiggly squirming little thing into a handsome frog. I want to admire the colours and textures of the spiders in the log pile. I want to have my breath taken away at the magnificence of a butterfly’s wings.
I want to watch in awe as the bumblebees sip at the nectar-rich plants in my garden. I want to be at one with nature, not people.
But if I do all that, neurotypicals will laugh at me and say, “That’s not socially acceptable”.
I want to revel in the shades of green as the evening summer sunlight filters through the leaves. I want to listen to nothing but the wind rustling through the trees. I want to have my soul stroked by melodious birdsong. I want to smile as a mother bird gently feeds her young.
But if I do all that, neurotypicals will laugh at me and say, “That’s not socially acceptable”.
What price to live in a neurotypical world?
Just the price of my soul.
Just the price of me."